A SINGLE mum who feared sleep training would damage her baby has become a convert after it transformed her life.
Beth Page – known as @everythingbethhh on social media – was hit with more than a year of little to zero kip because of Oliver, who would get up as much as seven times during the night.
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Sleep training and the “cry it out” method was out of the question because the 28-year-old believed what she’d read about it and didn’t want to inflict that on her boy.
But after reaching “breaking point” she gave the “five minute method” a try and can’t believe the impact it’s had.
Beth, from Edinburgh, said: “This has honestly been life-changing for both of us.
“Bedtime has been transformed from something I dreaded to this lovely little bonding time with stories and cuddles.
“Bedtime is always bonding time, no matter how stressful the day has been.
“I can now do our little routine and pop him in his cot, say ‘night night’ and he’ll roll over and go to sleep.”
Beth told how she fell pregnant after a drunken one night stand with a friend of a friend.
But she loves being a mum and dotes on her little lad, as well as being a full-time psychology student.
Night times were a problem though as he refused to sleep and it was taking a toll on both of them.
She noticed they were both irritable and not at their best, as well as crying during the long nights.
She tried everything including switching his rooms, swapping his cot for a bed, baths every night and more food during the day.
Light projectors and white noise were drafted in, along with a banana before bed time.
Nothing worked but Beth ruled out sleep training for a long time.
She said: “I used to think it was bad for babies. I always said I’d never do it.
“I thought it wasn’t fair on the babies and could be emotionally damaging.
“But Oliver has always been a terrible sleeper and would never stay down for the whole night.
“With me being a single mum I’ve done every night since he’s been born.
“It really does affect you after a while. There is no exhaustion like it. I’d hit the point where I couldn’t function properly.
“I was lying on the living room floor watching him play and had no energy to interact or play with him. This made me so sad because I wasn’t the mum I wanted to be.”
What is the 'five minute method'?
For any parents looking to give it a go, Beth explains:
“You do your bedtime routine as normal and then once you leave, you say your keyword. For me, it was ‘it’s bedtime’, and then I immediately leave.
“Once you leave the room you set a timer for five minutes. If they stop crying, you pause the timer. If they start crying again you play the timer. Once it hits five minutes you go back in and you resettle them.
“The important thing is here, you can take as long as you want to go and resettle them. You don’t have to not make eye contact, or only pat them on the back or can’t sing. I picked him up, I cuddled him, I sang to him. Whatever I felt was necessary to resettle him the normal way I would. I still wanted that close contact.
“So settle them back down, lay them back down leave the room again and set the timer for another five minutes.
“Again, as they stop crying you pause the timer, because within those pauses they’re realising that they are safe. They’re getting the space and the time to self-settle themselves, which they need to learn.
“And if they start crying again you play the timer and once it gets to five minutes, you go back in.”
She added: “It’s definitely not the ‘cry it out method’ where you leave them to cry themselves to sleep.
“Because you’re using such a responsive technique, they are still learning that you will be there for them frequently. You’re always there to comfort them. You’re just giving him that tiny bit of space and time to self-settle.
“Within three nights Oliver was going down at 6.30pm and waking up at 7.30am. It’s definitely a highly recommended responsive, gentle sleep training technique.”
Beth decided to give the five minute method a try, where tots are timed and left to cry for a short period of time.
She feared it would be traumatic for both of them but was stunned by the results.
Beth said: “I honestly thought it was going to be awful. I was convinced I would just be leaving him to scream in a room on his own.
“After the first 5 minutes on the first night I went in and there wasn’t a single tear on his face and he didn’t look distressed in any way. His cries had been more of a protest.
“It was definitely still hard hearing him cry and I’m not sure I’d have managed to keep going for hours. But by the second timer he wasn’t crying consistently anymore.”
Beth has now rediscovered the joy of getting nights to herself and she reckons both her and Oliver are a lot happier.
She said: “Having those hours in the evening has made it so easy to be so present with him during the day.
“It’s just so much more fun now, we’re not exhausted and irritable. We can actually enjoy ourselves.
“I’ve had people comment to me saying how much relaxed we both are and both seem so much happier.
“He’s also had a massive developmental leap, his understanding, hand-eye coordination. I think finally getting the sleep he’s been needing is allowing his body to grow in so many ways.”
Beth urged other mums not to rule anything out when it comes to their youngsters, especially as they may not have all the facts.
She added: “Sleep training is controversial. It’s definitely worth a go if you’re at the point I was at.
“You need to do what’s right for you and your baby. Being online has taught me there is not a single decision a mum can make that everyone will agree with.
“But I know I’m doing what’s best for me and Oliver and that’s what matters.”