IF you struggle to get a good night’s kip, worrying about it could be what’s stopping you nodding off.
In new book How To Be Awake (So You Can Sleep Through The Night), expert Heather Darwall-Smith explores the problem and here she shares her advice . . .
STOP OBSESSING
YOU’VE tried all the routines, supplements and apps. But the harder you try, the more sleep slips away.
Many people address such issues by working on a bedtime routine.
But it may not work as it’s what happens in waking hours that matters.
Ironically, the harder you try to nod off, the more elusive it becomes.
I can’t change the fact it’s raining but I can take an umbrella with me.
Shifting from anxiety to acceptance can make all the difference.
Remember, your body knows how to do this.
FIND WHAT WORKS FOR YOU
WE’RE bombarded with advice about costly sleep supplements and elaborate routines and schedules for a perfect night.
But in my work as a sleep psychologist, I see the downsides of all this.
What works for one person may not work for another.
It’s about flexible guidance to help you, not adhering to trends.
What works for a scientist may not work for a single mum juggling three kids and a job.
Sleep is personal.
Real rest is about working with your body, not forcing it into someone else’s formula.
KNOW WHAT’S NORMAL
IT’S normal to wake up once or twice in the night.
You may need to pee, lie there for a bit then try to calmly drop off.
If no luck, get up and do something you enjoy. Don’t get wound up.
Accept that waking in the night is normal, and avoid clock-watching.
For teens, night owls and shift-workers, feeling groggy in the day can be a constant struggle.
But rituals like a splash of cold water, daylight walk or cup of coffee can help wake the brain.
Aligning your sleep with your natural rhythms can also help.
RELAX ABOUT ROUTINES
I AM not a fan of rigid routines and have repeatedly seen how detrimental they can be.
But sometimes it’s about doing it anyway and benefiting from a wild night out.
Other times, it’s about learning when to say no.
Taking every piece of sleep advice as gospel can lead to an increase in stress.
It’s about the things we carry that keep us alert, even when we’re feeling desperate to rest.
If your internal alarm is ringing, disrupted sleep isn’t a mystery – it’s practically a given.
FLEX YOUR SLEEP MUSCLES
THINK of learning sleep skills as like building muscle.
Don’t wait for a crisis to start training – develop these skills in calm times, repeating them until they become second nature.
By doing this, you will build tools that will be there when you most need them.
So when stress hits, you’ll know what to do – instinctively “flexing” these new “muscles” and feeling a whole load more resilient.
This approach makes it less likely you’ll abandon your techniques when you need them.
SLEEP IS YOUR FRIEND
THINK about sleep as your friend.
If you are a night owl, the nine-to-five routine will be hard for you.
Recognising this can change the way you approach sleep.
It brings compassion, opening up a space to think about what might really be happening.
Your body biologically knows how to sleep – but might have its own ideas about how to do it that don’t fit in with the nine-to-five.
A good night’s sleep isn’t about having a nice little routine before bed – it starts when you get up.
KEEP A JOURNAL
WHEN we are sleep-deprived or feeling negative, our memories can be unreliable and we may remember things as being worse than they really were.
Writing things down gives you an objective record. If you learn best by listening, record your thoughts on your phone.
If you are a visual learner, draw your ideas.
Use these tools to assess your sleep patterns and stress levels.
Recognise patterns and triggers that may impact sleep.
JUST KEEP IT SIMPLE
CERTAIN things before bedtime can make it harder to nod off.
Maybe you sip espresso after dinner, or cannot resist one last social-media scroll at midnight.
Identify your personal disruptors then tackle them one by one.
Make a small change, get comfortable with it then move to the next.
Yes, make your bed into the best for you.
Yes, use earplugs if they work for you.
But sleep thrives on patience, not micro-management.
Good sleepers don’t do anything to achieve it – they just sleep.
